Today I ate meat. I didn't realize it at first. I ate an egg and ham sandwich for breakfast. (Lol) It was when I got to Saber's grill that I realized it was friday. Even though I knew, I continued to eat meat. I was cooking for goodness' sake! How could you not be hungry in a kitchen?! There were other meatless foods like fries and cookies, but honestly I was broke. Morihara makes the class an 'employee meal' which is free for us. Teriyaki burger plate lunch. Temptation got the best of me.
I asked my sponsor why do we not eat meat on fridays. He told me that back in the old days, only the rich were allowed to eat meat. That lent was a time for fasting, abstaining, simplicity, penance, SACRAFICE and poverty. I was being very selfish and stupid. My faith with God is fading. Or something, idk.
I've decided to drop out of confirmation. I have a lot idiotic reasons and zero good reasons. I don't feel ready or even privilliaged (sp?) to get confirmed and I really don't know why. The other students in my class are so knowledged and full of the Holy Spirit. They've taken sunday school and confirmation 1 while I skipped through it all, taking the easy way out.
I haven't put much of my heart into praying at nights and some nights I even 'forget' to pray. I've sinned thinking 'God ALWAYS forgives.' Which he does, I'm just taking that to an advantage. I've let anger get the best of me and family & friends drift away. I've made small priorities important to me and big priorities less important to me.
This lenten season is making me realize a lot. Yet I don't have the will to change. I find myself always taking the easy way out without care that I'm letting those I love down. I'm building my own weight on my shoulders expecting others to help me carry the load. I'm learning that this load ain't getting any lighter, no one is willing to help if I'm not willing to help myself.
I've added some things on my lenten list. I'm gonna pray the rosary every saturday morning, get myself some church hours, and find a reason to stay in confirmation.
I've let my family down, I've let my friends down, I've let my sponsor down and I've let myself down. The last thing I want to do is let God down. No, I'm not going to let Him down.
Day 3: never doubt yourself. You're only doubting what you believe in and what you believe you can do. When you doubt you end up believing nothing and going nowhere. Now what will you do after that?
I asked my sponsor why do we not eat meat on fridays. He told me that back in the old days, only the rich were allowed to eat meat. That lent was a time for fasting, abstaining, simplicity, penance, SACRAFICE and poverty. I was being very selfish and stupid. My faith with God is fading. Or something, idk.
I've decided to drop out of confirmation. I have a lot idiotic reasons and zero good reasons. I don't feel ready or even privilliaged (sp?) to get confirmed and I really don't know why. The other students in my class are so knowledged and full of the Holy Spirit. They've taken sunday school and confirmation 1 while I skipped through it all, taking the easy way out.
I haven't put much of my heart into praying at nights and some nights I even 'forget' to pray. I've sinned thinking 'God ALWAYS forgives.' Which he does, I'm just taking that to an advantage. I've let anger get the best of me and family & friends drift away. I've made small priorities important to me and big priorities less important to me.
This lenten season is making me realize a lot. Yet I don't have the will to change. I find myself always taking the easy way out without care that I'm letting those I love down. I'm building my own weight on my shoulders expecting others to help me carry the load. I'm learning that this load ain't getting any lighter, no one is willing to help if I'm not willing to help myself.
I've added some things on my lenten list. I'm gonna pray the rosary every saturday morning, get myself some church hours, and find a reason to stay in confirmation.
I've let my family down, I've let my friends down, I've let my sponsor down and I've let myself down. The last thing I want to do is let God down. No, I'm not going to let Him down.
Day 3: never doubt yourself. You're only doubting what you believe in and what you believe you can do. When you doubt you end up believing nothing and going nowhere. Now what will you do after that?
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